My mom is one of the most honest people I know. She didn’t raise me to believe that I am a princess and that I am “pretty” in society’s conventional understanding of the word. She never told me princess fairy tale stories and she didn’t lie about Santa Claus.
I can’t really remember what she said or how she said it, but ever since I was little, I already knew that I am not a pretty pretty girl, and that when I move from our small pond of a house to the big ocean, I would see that there’s a lot of other people significantly better than me at everything, that that fact is totally fine, and that it’s ok to look like me.
Although, she did curate my clothes, which made me slightly confused.
She never said it, but I know she didn’t think I’m ugly. She was more focused on me getting good grades and pursuing extra-curricular activities. Sometimes, she lets me off the hook on household chores just so I can have more time to read. She tried to get me into sports but I have very poor motor skills. She hired a dance instructor too so I could acquire some talent.
I feel like some might not agree with how she raised me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m happy she didn’t raise me in a fantasy world where I’m a princess, the prettiest girl, and that someday someone will come to sweep me off my feet.
Maybe that’s the reason why I never made it my life’s mission to have a big-ish wedding. At one time, E asked me — didn’t you ever want to experience that one day where you are the prettiest woman in the room? — to make sure I didn’t want a conventional wedding.
Isn’t he just the sweetest?
I think it was a rhetorical question (or maybe not). But I said, never, no, and I mean, REALLY. I don’t have the need to have a ball dedicated to me (and/or my husband) and to feel like I’m the prettiest. You and I know it’s literally not true.
So why am I telling this story?
If you’ve been dropping by my blog for several posts now, you would know that it’s only in recent years that I developed an interest in makeup. More specifically, when I worked in the health and beauty industry. My employment contract stated, “…cosmetics are required for female employees.” Until today, that boggles my mind because I worked with Finance and the IT Department.
Going back to my Mom. Given everything I told you, would you believe that my mom begs me to dress well and put on some makeup? Yes, everytime she sees me. It drives me crazy! I don’t get it.
Me wearing makeup is a dream come true for her. It was like I never blossomed into a woman, despite being 30 and all.
Several weeks ago, I went to my parents’ place for the first time wearing a tiny bit of foundation, a cheek stain, and a plummy lipstick worn as a lip stain. When my mom saw me, I swear there was light in her eyes. I never knew that seeing me wearing makeup would make her somewhat happy.
She even told me this:
Mom: Ang ganda mo ngayon anak.
Me: (ano daw?!?!)
And to E***:
Mom: Ang swerte mo sa anak ko, E***. Ang ganda ng anak ko e.
Me: (ano daw, ulit?!?!)
What possessed my mom? and where did it take her?
But I will admit, my heart raced fast and there were butterflies in my stomach.
P.S. I think my lipstick collection is complete.